2004-10-29 - 10:38 a.m.
i am bored with myself

i am personally of the opinion that naomi watts would make a motherfucking great tulip in the "preacher" movie (which is currently in development hell, unfortunately), and also a pretty good trillian in the "hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" movie, (which, still less fortunately, is also in development hell).

another, loosely related thing.

so the other day i was thinking about how boring i've become. what's happened to me? i don't have adventures anymore. i don't even get obsessed with anything anymore. my trademark! what the fuck!

i mean, the closest thing i have to an obsession at this time is the aforementioned naomi watts, but that ain't even close to what it ought to be. like, okay. i don't even know where naomi watts was born. (somewhere in england, i think). when i see her on a magazine cover i'll take a look at the magazine, but i just kinda skim through it, looking at pictures. i don't, like, actually read it or buy it or anything.

compare this with the shakira phase of three years ago. i knew everything there was to know about her. i spent all day, every day, searching for information regarding her. (strange sentence, that.) i talked about her constantly. i related everything to her. i had a motherfucking shakira wall.

and stephanie. remember that bullshit? i haven't had a crush like that in forever (although that might not be such a bad thing).

and adventures. i haven't had an adventure in so long. i mean, what happened to that kid who ran off to live in a motel in santa ana? what happened to that kid who used to approach sexy boys and talk to them and ask for their numbers like it weren't no thang? what happened to that kid who made... that movie... in a motel room in anaheim? what the fuck happened to that krazy, kooky kid?

ha! all my days are filled with this gross thing called "responsibility" nowadays. school, work, sobriety. it's all very serious. nothing's funny anymore, and certainly nothing's exciting.

so maybe this means i'm growing up or some shit like that. or maybe it just means i'm a boring little fag. either way, it's retarded and i've had enough! exclamation points mean i'm serious!

growing up is so gay.

so i have a plan: i am going to move out! yes! i'm going to save my money (since i'm a grownup now, i can do that) and find an apartment, maybe with a roommate but hopefully not, and then i'll be accountable only to myself and i'll still have a job and go to school but i'll also be able to go to denny's at 2am, which is something i haven't done in forever (it's just not practical). and i'll be able to party. such the partying! only without drugs. i'll just do the good old-fashioned drinkin'-'til-i-pass-out routine and that'll be adventurous in and of itself. and road trips! there will be such the road trips. and writing a book, that'll be adventurous. and my apartment will be painted green. yes, i need to make this new life. because i am so bored.

- rachel

ooh, you touch my tra-la-la... mmm, my ding-ding-dong