2004-11-01 - 11:10 p.m.
napa and "the grudge" and a bit about melodrama

ha! oh heavens.

sometimes i am feeling a bit melodramatic and think, oh shit, i'm gonna DIE! (see yesterday)

but then i sleep on it and things are okay again.

so i am to move up north to live with jon and drink napa wine and have some kind of computer job. this will necessitate not going to school next semester so i can work and save money, but i'll converse with my parents and see what arrangements can be made.

this may be my ticket out of this joint!

not that i don't love it here. not that i'm not lucky to be here. it's just that... sometimes... i'd like to get roaringly drunk and play really loud music and go to denny's at three a.m. and get rolled by the cops and egg houses and do all kinds of fun shit without worrying about what my parents are gonna think about it.

in other words, i'd like to live a grownup life! yeah, with a job and with school but also with revelry and loudness! yes! festivities the likes of which have never been seen 'round these parts! that is what i'd like.

so napa then. jon as a roommate (plus josh, which may kill me, but maybe i can handle it), and a new job, and a new school, and writing, and partying, and actually having a life.

because what the fuck is tying me to southern california? friends? yeah, um... no. school? fuck that, there're community colleges everywhere. family? well... a girl's gotta move out sometime, right? no matter how much she enjoys her parents? (what a fucking dork i am, enjoying my parents.) job? there're jobs everywhere. i'm sure i could find one. plus after the christmas season the tinderbox won't really need me. plus i don't think manjit likes me.

so then it's settled. of course there are details to work out. and i need to break it to the family. but it's happening. it is most certainly happening.

napa motherfucking valley, here i come.

oh, and "the grudge." ok, um, this movie? wow. i don't get scared at scary movies, okay? i didn't get scared at "the ring," and "darkness falls" was shit, and so on and so forth. but when i was at "the grudge" i was so fucking scared at one point--when the girl-thing is dragging herself down the stairs, REMEMBER THAT?!--that i was laughing my ass off because i didn't know what else to do.

it was that scary.

highly recommended, that.

'night.

- rachel

ooh, you touch my tra-la-la... mmm, my ding-ding-dong