2004-11-14 - 2:14 p.m.
you armenian fuck in my head

for the record, this is the best email i've ever received.

ever.

"Don
I thought I would write you because I need a study
break like you need a cold Guinnesse (sic). I am sure you
are busy making a topiary recreation of the events
comprising the Austrian Succession but I demand you
read my email now because the second a woman thinks
she can just do what she is not told to do by a man is
the second time traveling Armenians stop showing
strangely arousing reruns of My Two Dads in my head.
Jeremy, what I am trying to say is I can't visit you
now because I am too busy up until tuesday which is
when I will know if I will be able to come over and
have rough sex and plant a giving tree. I am sure you
understand you Armenian fuck in my head. I am glad we
could settle our differences this way. Who would have
thought that a little french ballerina like you and a
jug band hobo like me would ever come to realize that
we share the gift of hatred for each other. I just
want to close you up in your velvet music box and keep
you there forever twirling in your lost pink world of
delusions while gay people freely walk the streets and
children escape brutal beatings for their indecent
thougths (sic).
Love
Tim"

fucking brilliant. i taped it to my dashboard.

- rachel

ooh, you touch my tra-la-la... mmm, my ding-ding-dong